Hidden away in the heights of Aerdala, the Kozaru are children of the wind. Living reclusively among the crags and peaks of the region, these little-known people keep to themselves, and only rarely reveal themselves to the island's other inhabitants. But Pandala's transformation has reawakened old conflicts, and the Kozaru are no longer protected by the shadows of their mountains.
The storm has been raging for days. The floodwaters surge relentlessly, despite my prayers. Lightning splits the rock and reignites the drenched embers. The woods blaze and splinter as the torrent swirls. Pandala has been transformed into a vast inferno, an endless tempest that is reshaping the island's contours, its cliffs and its lakes. The earth shatters and cracks as immense waves crash against the rock, giving way to new lands, new boundaries, new landscapes. Pandala is being transformed, and it will never be the same.
The cave shudders and flashes to the irregular rhythm of the lightning. The ground is wet, and a cold wind blasts the rock walls in harsh gusts. The rain lashes my face and colors the ground a shimmering blue. Across from me, I can make out the contours of a stone Kozaru, a giant carved into the walls of the cave. His smile is permanently frozen in an expression of knowing provocation, and the flickering candlelight bends the shadows and distorts his face into terrible grimaces.
As my eyes contemplate the massive statue before me, I discern a quiet silhouette approaching from behind. I sense each of his movements. His eyes on the back of my neck, the tenderness in his body language, and the dwindling distance between our bodies. My voice resounds in the cave:
"Don't leave.
Stay with me. With your people."
I hear his breath and, as though his pain were reaching out to touch me, an icy shock runs through my body, and delicately lifts the fabric of my yukata. The ribbons in my hair begin to move. Caught up in the swirling wind, they slide over my face.
I feel his strong hand on my shoulder. I could falter at any moment. I could push him into the void, then pull him back an instant later. Tell him all the unspoken words of love, curse him a thousand times, or capture him in an eternal embrace so that he can never leave me again. I remain motionless, my eyes riveted on the candles as they struggle to resist the gusts of wind surging into the cave. The tempest eases, and his voice breaks this moment of silence. It cuts sharp and clean, a blade plunged deep into my flesh.
"I have no home here, you heard it yourself.
Shihan doesn't want me here."
"She'll change her mind,
she'll listen to me!"
"Shihan
doesn't listen to anyone."
"You
can't…"
A flash of lightning cuts my reply short. My tears flow, leaving marbled tracks on my smooth face. He pretends not to see them, not to hear my sobs. But he sees my trembling shoulders, the uncontrolled shaking that my body no longer has the strength to resist. I raise my eyes once again to the immense statue in front of me. Its stone eyes judge me, seize hold of me. Its smile, carved into the cold rock, dares me to look away. I do not.
"So
what will you do?"
My voice cracks. I no longer recognize it.
"We've
already talked about that."
Yes, dozens of times… hundreds of times. But I cannot accept it. The mere thought of losing him is the worst kind of suffering… Actually experiencing it would be the death of me.
I turn around abruptly, and force him to face my tears. He holds my stare, and in his eyes I see all the things he can't say aloud. He reaches out for my hand, blindly, across the distance that separates us. I do not help him, letting him fumble for the touch of my skin under the thick fabric of my sleeve. When his fingers finally brush against mine, I instantly grab hold of his armor. My nails screech on the cold metal. I tighten my grip on the armor, as though I could break his solid shell with my bare hands.
"If
you leave, I swear I'll throw myself from the highest mountain in Aerdala! I'll curse your name for all eternity!"
A shadow hides his expression. He lifts his gaze to the statue, and I have the feeling that I've already lost him. The two Kozaru, one made of stone, the other of flesh, lock eyes in a fierce clash. I know that this silent confrontation could last forever. My eyes try to recapture his attention, to ease his torment. Hate darkens his face, and brings a flash of crimson to his pupils. Finally, he bows his head, defeated in this silent battle.
He had won, but his opponent had turned his defeat into a victory of its own.
"I
am already cursed…"
He raises his other hand, on which he wears no glove. There's no need for one. For there is no more flesh on its bones. The bare cartilage cracks, and his skeletal fingers gently touch my face and brush my cheek. He traces my lips, and caresses my mouth with a strange modesty. I would like to seize his hand and feel the warmth of his skin on my own. To hold his hand tightly and press myself against him, to feel his heart beating, pounding against his chest. But I cannot.
I release my grip, and my hands fall limp at my sides. I stand there looking at him, powerless, my features contorted by a mixture of anger and sadness. I cannot imagine what will happen next. Can life go on after this? Can life really go on after this cataclysm that has struck both Pandala and my own heart? How can anyone recover from such utter devastation?
His eyes turn to me one last time, and I realize that the battle is over. That I have lost this long struggle. That I have lost him, and that there's no going back. He walks past me and approaches the statue, but does not look at it. He picks up his saber and the rest of his armor.
I tremble with cold and fear. I don't know what to do, what threats to use to keep him from leaving. I look at the man I have loved my whole life. From our childish teasing, to our mad runs through Pandala's highest peaks, to our last kiss.
"They'll
never accept you there! You're a Kozaru, you were born in the skies of Aerdala to live freely and breathe the winds of high places! Not to become the Daimya's little Bow Wow!"
I close my eyes and burst into tears. I feel my body faltering from the pain. I could implode right here, right now, tear myself to pieces and disappear in the torrents that are shaking the land. His lips touch my forehead. My sobbing ceases. I keep my eyes closed and try, in vain, to remember the warmth of his kiss. His steps echo to the mouth of the cave. The pounding rain, the metallic sounds of his armor… it all disappears into the roar of the storm.
